I've Got Friends...

When you’re from a small town, go to college for Art/Architecture, join a sorority, and go on to work in a creative field, you’re bound to have a very wide range of [awesome] friends.  With the exception of a handful, most of my best friends have come from my “adult” life, and unfortunately, I don’t live anywhere near them. From Boston, Chicago, to South Freaking Korea, my best friends are scattered all over the Carolinas/United States/Earth and range in careers from stay-at-home moms, teachers, designers, architects, doctors, and more.  This diverse group of personalities and influences keeps a creative mind on its toes, and I’m so grateful that they challenge and encourage me.

Working at Frenzy introduced me to many of my dearest friends.  If you ever need a good cry when you’re struggling with the oddest combination of complete life fulfillment and lost purpose, FaceTime with Savannah Fink, and she’ll have the most encouraging words to lift your spirits and remind you that you’re valuable.  Savannah has the most kind, patient, and artistic mind, and I’m waiting an ungodly amount of time for her to return to this country.  Last time I saw her was in February 2013 while I was on the brink of the most miserable time of my life, and one phone call from her shortly after will forever go down in my book as the most thoughtful and supportive acts of friendship.  I’ll always remember what she said, “Sometimes when you think people want to be left alone and need their space is the exact time that they need you most, so I had to call.” (our other dear pal Rachel, me, and Savannah- our last time together).

When Savannah left, I knew replacing her would be tough not only for our company, but also for me- I needed a strong, smart, creative, funny, and supportive gal to work with in an otherwise dude-driven office. When we received an application from a fellow Clemson graduate named Millie Davis whose resume [and admitted Facebook stalking] resembled Savannah with eerie similarities, I knew we were set.  Millie and I hit it off right away, and I am struggling to even find the words to describe how much she and I have in common, so I’ll just leave it there. Millie (and her boo Trey) could rule the creative world.  I’ve never seen two people whose ability to design and create be as beautiful, clean, and effective as theirs. Their skillsets are so vast across the arts, and I spend a lot of my time trying to cultivate a plan where they can move to Charleston, be my neighbors, get married, and have a baby boy who will marry my daughter and they would have the most beautiful wedding the world has ever seen…

I hope everyone is lucky enough to have a job that introduces you to lifelong friends and then can write a blog about it that will be seen by a whopping audience of 200 people.

Anyhow, Millie is a wonderfully talented photographer (like duh).  She took this one incredible picture that begged me to paint it.  My inspiration for artwork comes from a variety of sources- most are a combination of sketches and photos and take a little back-end work before putting them on paper; however, her photograph was so beautiful and simple that I worked straight from it.  After receiving Millie’s emphatic permission, I created this artwork and hope she finds it marginally as beautiful as her photography (below).

See the listing on Etsy

Facebook

Ellis's 1st Birthday Party and General Amazing-ness

Let’s get something straight here- I love parties and themes and kid’s décor and seeing all of the beautiful Pinterested-out parties with the signs and assorted-by-color candies and party favors just as much as the next person; however, WHERE DO THESE PEOPLE GET THE TIME TO DO THAT SHIT? (Somewhere in 2012, Pinterest decided for every 20-to-30-something woman that all things must be declared with a chalkboard sign- just one of many trends that I’m not sure I’m “on board” with—did you see what I did there?). I get to see my husband for about 2 hours a day, and he gets about 1 day per week off from work.  The remainder of my time is spent with Ellis and trying to keep dog food out of her mouth, so I don’t exactly have any extra free time to make customized party hats and a high chair tutu.  If you do have that ability, power to you.

I remember seeing a VHS tape from my one-year birthday party.  The setting was the illustrious space in our family room of our home, completely decked out with all of the raging mauve and sepia-toned furniture and floors. There may have been a few balloons, but what I remember most about the tape was hearing my grandfather’s hearty laugh and the familiar sound of my grandmother’s soft voice, neither of which I’ve been able to hear in 20+ years.  Ellis won’t remember the frills from her party, but she will remember the faces of who was there, and if we’re lucky to find a 1980’s tape recorder, maybe she’ll receive the gift of eternally freezing her family in 2015 and enjoy hearing and seeing our lives together from whatever space station she lives on as an adult.

For this reason, we kept her birthday pretty chill- just family, a few friends, some neighbors, and homemade cupcakes. Oh, and lots of booze.  If you decided to spend your Saturday afternoon with us, you deserved a beer or four.  So when it came to custom ordering something for her party, I didn’t go for this adorable, sparkly outfit, but instead I got my old company, Frenzy, to print these koozies I designed.

Ellis received lots of toys, and also this breathtaking poster. 

I must take this time to brag on our daughter in true paragraph form (as opposed to chalkboard form) and remind myself and everyone else what a wonderful and unrealistically easy baby she’s been.  She’s unbelievably low-maintenance and never picky: she’s been sleeping in her bumper-less crib since she was 2 months old for 12 hours a night; she skipped rice cereal and baby food and went straight to vegetables via baby-led weaning; she never used a pacifier; she never needed her arms straight-jacketed to her body; she is an ideal rear-facing passenger; she doesn’t really tune-in to TV, and she has no idea how an iPhone works (she thinks it’s this really cool rectangle where my mom and sister live and appear to talk to her occasionally, so she looks at it and smiles.)  She has 8 whole teeth and brushes them each night, and while her 12-month checkup was somewhat of a nightmare, she still loves meeting new people at Publix and being escorted out by the kind old men who bag my groceries.  She walks, talks, and knows an incredible amount of commands and tricks.  While a majority of this is due to her inherited personality and sheer luck, the rest is attributed to listening to my doctor and the highest AAP recommendations.  Here’s my PSA: choose your pediatrician wisely, and listen to her advice (and if you're lucky enough to live in Charleston, you should see this wonderful woman).

I say all this with tons of pride and caution, but thanks for reading!

Shop Etsy

"Oh Give Me a Home," by my sis, Ashley Kay Childers

My name is Ashley, and I’m Hayden’s older sister.  I’ve been obsessed with her since she was 2 years old (when she was a baby – not so much), and I have been bragging about her art for just as long.  Hayden is incredibly talented, and I could not be more delighted that she is sharing her paintings and helping make happy and colorful memories with you.

She’s also been sharing some about her personal life, something that we’ve historically not been big fans of.  But so much of Hayden’s art is inspired by personal stories and memories, and I’m excited to be a guest blogger to write about a piece she just made for me, inspired by what will likely be the most memorable and intimate moment of my life.  As I said, we haven’t typically been big fans of publically sharing personal stories, but I think there are a lot of good messages here about our lives, love, and the end of life.

In her previous blog posts, Hayden talked about Martha, our second mother.  Not everyone is lucky enough to have a fantastic mother like Hayden and I are, and certainly most people are not lucky enough that they get 2 fantastic mothers.  Martha loved Hayden and me unconditionally just as if we were her own. 

Martha lived with a chronic disease for years.  We rarely talked about it outside of our homes, but I don’t think Martha would be mad at us for talking about it now, especially when her story could help other people.  Martha and her family planned well, and they worked with her doctors and Hospice Care of South Carolina to make the most of her last few years.  This is called palliative care, and the idea is to provide comfort, reduce suffering, and improving quality of life.  It’s a hot topic in the health care industry, and I’m lucky that I get to work with an organization that is very interested in learning more about how to help care for patients with serious illnesses.  

Patients with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease are very often high utilizers of the health care system with ER visits and multiple hospital readmissions.  During the course of her disease, Martha was only admitted to the hospital once.  That’s amazing.  She worked with her family, physicians, and Hospice nurses to make her wishes known so that we could all plan for the end of her life.  [Cut to Professional Ash for a second]: These discussions and decisions can be very difficult, but you don’t have to wait until a disease diagnosis to have these conversations with your family.  There’s a are a number of organizations and tools out there, such as The Conversation Project, to help empower people to talk about end of life care with their loved ones, and April 16 is National Health Care Decisions Day.

I will be forever grateful that I was with my mom and sister when we learned that Martha had suddenly declined.  As Hayden mentioned, we were so lucky to be able to spend the last week of Martha’s life at her house with her daughters, just like we had as children.  When we were kids, if it was a weekday and we weren’t in school, we were at Martha’s.  So many of our memories involve her cooking, baking, crafts, stories, songs that she made up on the spot, and lullabies that she sang us over and over.  Our favorite was “Home on the Range.”

To me, Martha is love.  There is no reason that a woman who is not your real mother should care for you, feed you, nurse you, and treat you like your own except for unconditional love.  But Martha did.  She encouraged us, bragged on us, disciplined us, and taught us how to care for others every day.  Her home was a place “where seldom is heard a discouraging word, and the skies are not cloudy all day,” and that is what I want for my life.

Without a doubt, my most colorful memory happened in the last hours of Martha’s life, and it is without a doubt the most beautiful and the most heartbreaking moment of my life.  My mom, Hayden, Ellis, and I were spending time with Martha when Ellis started to cry.  Hayden told Martha “I sing to Ellis, just like you sang to us,” and she began singing “Home on the Range.”  Hayden didn’t realize that while she was singing, Martha’s 3 daughters and husband came into the room.  We all cried, and I cried enough that it made me want to hold Sarah’s hand and sob into Carol’s shoulder.  You should know that I hate when people touch me, so I was clearly out of sorts.  Carol later remarked that it was like a [majestic] bird had suddenly landed on her and she didn’t want to make any sudden moves that could scare it away.  You wouldn’t call Hayden a “good” singer, but it was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. 

In that moment – in that room – were the people who’ve loved me most in the world.  And 5 of them aren’t even related to me.  The people in that room continue to shape my definitions of family and love, and they’ve perfectly shaped Hayden as a sister, as a friend, as an artist, and as a mother.  To watch Hayden sing in front of our 2 moms to my niece was incredible, and it will forever be my favorite memory that’s become my daily reflection, “Oh give me a home.”  To see how Hayden has been inspired by Martha’s life to FINALLY! (amiright, Ma?) share her art with you makes me so proud. 

I can’t imagine that more than 5 people read this far, but if you did, thank you.  Apparently blogging is cathartic.  Who knew?!  Maybe that’s what all the fuss is about.  

(Note from Hayden:

Well my makeup was on point until I read this. Thank you to my sister for writing this and to everyone who reads.  Here is a link to the artwork that was inspired by this story)

Etsy

Facebook

Where the Tigers Play

This week, I was commissioned by a dear friend to create something for a very special baby.  This baby, Guy, has some serious Clemson roots- his last name is Hendrix (ever heard of it?).  Even though I was sure this baby boy had already received a multitude of orange gifts, I still felt it necessary to create something Clemson-themed. 

Being commissioned to create a piece of art is always interesting and poses unique- but fun- challenges.  Sometimes customers have exact ideas of what they want; others present a mental collage and need some help tying it together; and some just say “I trust your creative mind!”  With this case, it was the last option which always adds a little pressure, especially given the recipient!  In my previous job, I learned a lot about how to work with customers to create designs, so I feel it’s important to include them in the process, even if they leave it completely up to my creativity.

What I finally decided to make was a little homage to Clemson’s Alma Mater – I pulled the second line, “Where the tigers play," and incorporated it with a little tiger cub playing with blocks which spelled the baby’s name “GUY.”  I sent my friend a visual aid to get her approval, and of course, it was a hit. While out to brunch, she even ran into Dabo Swinney and showed him the proof, and he and his wife apparently loved it.  So there’s my claim to fame.

Thank you, Mrs. Lyles, for the opportunity to create something so special and personal! 

Facebook    

Etsy Store